The poignancy of death…

Death is loss, and loss is one of the hardest things humans deal with.  There is no loss more permanent and painful.  With loss, comes introspection and retrospection.  The greater the loss, the more profound the reflection and rumination.

I think a portion of the sadness death causes is due to regret—regret for things we never said or never did…  Some “unfinished business” we feel we may have.  I think the sadness death brings is from our own selfishness.  Not necessarily selfishness in a bad way…  But just the selfish feelings of wanting that person around forever.

"Attachment is the ultimate cause of suffering…  Attachment leads to suffering."  I better understand what that means… Attachment to life, to flesh, to finite things brings suffering, because attachment to something finite means loss.  And like I said, humans don’t deal with loss very well.

LADY! Omg! Preach! You are beyond and I COMPLETELY AGREE with you 100% on almost everything! I am more than glad I stumbled upon your tumblr!! Great to see there are more smart opinionated women out there. Keep up the great work!! — lannesmiles

Lol.  That’s greatly appreciated…  Thank you, and welcome to my blog!

Have you ever been in love with someone who at their core believed in an abrahamic religion? How would you deal with that? — venomofus

I have, and we are still great friends.  There is, of course, a distance between us that could never be shortened.  In the beginning, he was tolerant and seemingly unbothered by our difference in beliefs.  Over time, however, it bothered him more and more, as he realized I would never believe as he believes.  I never talked about religion with him, unless he pressed the issue (which he started doing more and more often).  It was as if my lack of belief offended him.  I realize now, me not believing made him question his own beliefs.  He didn’t want to question. 

Also, he realized if we ever decided to wed or have children, we would have issues with how to raise them.  Because that religion stuff is a no-no.

We were damn near perfect together, aside from our differences in belief.  So, we both held on longer than we should have. 

But to answer your question, I dealt with it by never expressing my views with him.  I saved that for my friends.  But as time went on, I grew tired of censoring myself.  That also caused issues.  I’d post things on Facebook about what I believe or don’t, and it would upset him.  After that, I vowed to NEVER be in a relationship with someone who is a part of Abrahamic religion (I don’t have a problem with *all* religions.  For example, I enjoy the Dharmic religions).

y blackgirlcrisis:


I’m sorry but this is hilarious.

See… This picture is a photographic representation of something I’ve said before: The Black woman/White man pairings I’ve seen—for the most part—have been based on love, acceptance, awareness, and respect.  Whereas Black man/White woman pairings—for the most part—have been based on fetishism, cultural ignorance, and lack of respect.  This isn’t to say White men don’t fetishize us, because they do fetishize us… Nor is it to say that all BW/WM pairings are good, because they are not ALL good.
As an aside, Jimi lookin’ like, “Da fuck is she DOIN’?”



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I’m sorry but this is hilarious.

See… This picture is a photographic representation of something I’ve said before: The Black woman/White man pairings I’ve seen—for the most part—have been based on love, acceptance, awareness, and respect.  Whereas Black man/White woman pairings—for the most part—have been based on fetishism, cultural ignorance, and lack of respect.  This isn’t to say White men don’t fetishize us, because they do fetishize us… Nor is it to say that all BW/WM pairings are good, because they are not ALL good.

As an aside, Jimi lookin’ like, “Da fuck is she DOIN’?”

Enjoying sex/being promiscuous doesn’t make you a ‘ho,’ anymore than enjoying cooking makes you a chef.

You really have an 8 year old son? If those are your real pictures, then you look really young. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to raise a son with autism/asperger's. I only know of two people with Asperger's syndrome and they're both fictional characters, but from what I've learned since it gets easier for them to understand and function socially as they get older through experience. Has anything you've read agree with that? — work2440

Lol.  Yes, I have an 8-year-old son.  Yes, those are my pictures… So thank you for the compliment!  It is difficult, but only because he was diagnosed so late and I’ve been doing it on my own, practically since he was born.  Doing it on my own wouldn’t be a problem, if it were not for the financial strain of being a single parent.

He’s a remarkable child: smart, sweet, funny, loyal…  He’s one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and I have the honor and privilege of raising him.

I read your post about your son not wanting to say the pledge and that you later you found out he has Aspergers, and I wanted to say that I respect you for accepting it because I keep telling my parents that I think I have Aspergers, but they won't listen.... — xachpack

Thank you.  I’m sorry your parents are having a difficult time accepting it.  Perhaps they don’t really understand what it is, and are scared?  Maybe you could give them some material or information on it?  Leave it around the house or something…

        Even as a child, I found the “jungle bunny” slur quite odd.  Because when I thought of Africa, I didn’t immediately think of jungles.  I knew Africa had/has jungles, but my first thoughts would be of grasslands, deserts, various wildlife (lions, gazelles, etc), and Egypt (to be honest).  I thought of beautiful, varying shades of brown skin and musical-sounding languages. 

        I’ve never thought of Africa as being just one way, and I’ve never even been there (yet).  And since jungles, or rainforests, are only a small percentage of Africa, you would think the people—White folk who colonized, took part in slave trading, etc—who have been here before (and created such a stupid, offensive term) would know that, too.  So the jungle bunny slur has always been so stupid and nonsensical to me (albeit, slurs are stupid and nonsensical to begin with)

      “Black power” was/is a political slogan that embodies the concept of Black empowerment, love, pride, and self sufficiency. First coined by Kwame Ture (Stokely Carmichael) during the Civil Rights’ Era, it was defined as:  [Def.1] "Black power is a call for black people in this country to unite, to recognize their heritage, to build a sense of community. It is a call for black people to define their own goals, to lead their own organizations."  [Def. 2] "Black Power meant black people coming together to form a political force and either electing representatives or forcing their representatives to speak their needs [rather than relying on established parties]."

      The purpose of Black power was/is to gain equality and freedom, and to demand the same quality of life and the same opportunities that are given to White people here and abroad. It’s a call for the dismantling of an unjust and racist system, by empowering and supporting ourselves and each other.

      While “Black power” is rooted in a desire for freedom, equality, and a call for unity, “white power” is rooted in a desire to withhold non-whites from equality, freedom, and to perpetuate the myth of white superiority.
Black power is a battle cry against white supremacy/racism/oppression.
      “White Supremacy is a historically based, institutionally perpetuated system of exploitation and oppression of continents, nations, and peoples of color by white peoples and nations of the European continent, for the purpose of maintaining and defending a system of wealth, power, and privilege.” So, you see, white power is a political slogan that represents the racist idea of white supremacy.

      The ideology of White Power is one of oppression—the exact opposite of what Black power is about. In fact, if it not for the white supremacy and the subjugation and non-white people, “Black power” would have never emerged as a political slogan and idea.
Not to mention, one ideology (black power) was created by a freedom fighter. The other (white power) created by the racist leader of a white supremacist group.
Black power is not, and has never been, about hatred of white people; yet white power is about hatred, dominance, and oppression of non-whites.

      So when people make ignorant statements or ask dumb ass questions like, “You can say Black Power, why can’t I say white power?,” or “the Black Panthers are just like the KKK,” I feel strongly about that type of ignorance. You do not understand history and historical context. You clearly have no desire to educate yourself, and you’re a reactionary bigot.

(I forgot, I wrote this LONG ago… It’s been in my drafts, along with  100+ other drafts)

.::My Son and I and Autism::.

      I don’t think of his autism/Asperger’s as a disorder or disability…  I look at it as something that contributes to the awesomeness and uniqueness that is my son.  Though I don’t think of it as a disorder or disability, I do think of it often… I’m often wondering what he’s thinking, how he feels, if I’m doing the right things or making the right decisions with him…  It’s sometimes overwhelming.  And sometimes, I do get frustrated with him, which makes me feel like the worse person/parent ever.  He’s honestly the greatest part of my life, and I know I need his sweet, silly self as much as he needs me.  He’s 8 years of age, and it’s been him and me his whole life, and my whole adult life (and part of my late teens).  It’s almost as if I can’t remember my life before him… Sure, I have memories. But it’s like, what the fuck was I doing before this wonderful being entered my life?

      But I worry about his future… Because he does have issues with social interactions, and he does talk nonstop/unknowingly dominate conversations (which some people find annoying.  Fuck those guys), and he doesn’t quite understand certain social boundaries and cues… And he does have very limited and intense interests that he wants to tell you about, but he doesn’t want you to talk—just listen.  All these little quirks that I find adorable, not everyone will/does.  And that scares me, because he’s barely 8 and he’s already been the victim of bullying.  His first brush with that was in kindergarten.  He’s already encountered racism, and he’s encountered intolerance for his syndrome.  I guess I’m scared because I know that at some point, I’ll no longer be able to protect him. 

      …And don’t get me wrong, I want him to grow and be an autonomous, productive, compassionate human being… I just don’t want him to be hurt.  But I know pain is as much a part of life as joy; and joy wouldn’t even be observable without pain (would it?) As much as I know that, I worry because he loves far harder and more intensely than most others… And when he is attached to someone, that attachment lasts for what seems like forever…

      I worry because, I don’t know if I’m doing this right.  I don’t always know how to help him; I just go with my instincts & intuitions.  I read up on autism/Asperger’s to educate myself as best I can… But I worry I’m not doing it right.  And I feel ashamed when I get frustrated or tired.  And I’m always super-tense/hypersensitive about making him feel the way so many people have and will about his differences, or “quirks.”  Yesterday, I was trying to do school work, but he was talking nonstop, as is his way.  When he finished his story, I told him that was the last story for now, because mommy needed to do her schoolwork.  He said okay, but then said, "It’s because I talk too much, right, mommy?"  And that hit me.  It hurt me.  Do I make him feel that way?  Had someone told him that (they better fucking not had said SHIT)?!  I told him, "No, baby.  I just need to concentrate on this, and then you can tell me more of your wonderful stories." 

      I just feel like crying and holding him, because I have no idea what I’m doing and I feel like he deserves better than that… And it’s hard to find resources to help, and I just feel overwhelmed and helpless in this small-minded place with no one who really knows anything about this syndrome.