Lol. That’s greatly appreciated… Thank you, and welcome to my blog!
Lol. That’s greatly appreciated… Thank you, and welcome to my blog!
I have, and we are still great friends. There is, of course, a distance between us that could never be shortened. In the beginning, he was tolerant and seemingly unbothered by our difference in beliefs. Over time, however, it bothered him more and more, as he realized I would never believe as he believes. I never talked about religion with him, unless he pressed the issue (which he started doing more and more often). It was as if my lack of belief offended him. I realize now, me not believing made him question his own beliefs. He didn’t want to question.
Also, he realized if we ever decided to wed or have children, we would have issues with how to raise them. Because that religion stuff is a no-no.
We were damn near perfect together, aside from our differences in belief. So, we both held on longer than we should have.
But to answer your question, I dealt with it by never expressing my views with him. I saved that for my friends. But as time went on, I grew tired of censoring myself. That also caused issues. I’d post things on Facebook about what I believe or don’t, and it would upset him. After that, I vowed to NEVER be in a relationship with someone who is a part of Abrahamic religion (I don’t have a problem with *all* religions. For example, I enjoy the Dharmic religions).
Enjoying sex/being promiscuous doesn’t make you a ‘ho,’ anymore than enjoying cooking makes you a chef.
Lol. Yes, I have an 8-year-old son. Yes, those are my pictures… So thank you for the compliment! It is difficult, but only because he was diagnosed so late and I’ve been doing it on my own, practically since he was born. Doing it on my own wouldn’t be a problem, if it were not for the financial strain of being a single parent.
He’s a remarkable child: smart, sweet, funny, loyal… He’s one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, and I have the honor and privilege of raising him.
Thank you. I’m sorry your parents are having a difficult time accepting it. Perhaps they don’t really understand what it is, and are scared? Maybe you could give them some material or information on it? Leave it around the house or something…
Even as a child, I found the “jungle bunny” slur quite odd. Because when I thought of Africa, I didn’t immediately think of jungles. I knew Africa had/has jungles, but my first thoughts would be of grasslands, deserts, various wildlife (lions, gazelles, etc), and Egypt (to be honest). I thought of beautiful, varying shades of brown skin and musical-sounding languages.
I’ve never thought of Africa as being just one way, and I’ve never even been there (yet). And since jungles, or rainforests, are only a small percentage of Africa, you would think the people—White folk who colonized, took part in slave trading, etc—who have been here before (and created such a stupid, offensive term) would know that, too. So the jungle bunny slur has always been so stupid and nonsensical to me (albeit, slurs are stupid and nonsensical to begin with).
I don’t think of his autism/Asperger’s as a disorder or disability… I look at it as something that contributes to the awesomeness and uniqueness that is my son. Though I don’t think of it as a disorder or disability, I do think of it often… I’m often wondering what he’s thinking, how he feels, if I’m doing the right things or making the right decisions with him… It’s sometimes overwhelming. And sometimes, I do get frustrated with him, which makes me feel like the worse person/parent ever. He’s honestly the greatest part of my life, and I know I need his sweet, silly self as much as he needs me. He’s 8 years of age, and it’s been him and me his whole life, and my whole adult life (and part of my late teens). It’s almost as if I can’t remember my life before him… Sure, I have memories. But it’s like, what the fuck was I doing before this wonderful being entered my life?
But I worry about his future… Because he does have issues with social interactions, and he does talk nonstop/unknowingly dominate conversations (which some people find annoying. Fuck those guys), and he doesn’t quite understand certain social boundaries and cues… And he does have very limited and intense interests that he wants to tell you about, but he doesn’t want you to talk—just listen. All these little quirks that I find adorable, not everyone will/does. And that scares me, because he’s barely 8 and he’s already been the victim of bullying. His first brush with that was in kindergarten. He’s already encountered racism, and he’s encountered intolerance for his syndrome. I guess I’m scared because I know that at some point, I’ll no longer be able to protect him.
…And don’t get me wrong, I want him to grow and be an autonomous, productive, compassionate human being… I just don’t want him to be hurt. But I know pain is as much a part of life as joy; and joy wouldn’t even be observable without pain (would it?). As much as I know that, I worry because he loves far harder and more intensely than most others… And when he is attached to someone, that attachment lasts for what seems like forever…
I worry because, I don’t know if I’m doing this right. I don’t always know how to help him; I just go with my instincts & intuitions. I read up on autism/Asperger’s to educate myself as best I can… But I worry I’m not doing it right. And I feel ashamed when I get frustrated or tired. And I’m always super-tense/hypersensitive about making him feel the way so many people have and will about his differences, or “quirks.” Yesterday, I was trying to do school work, but he was talking nonstop, as is his way. When he finished his story, I told him that was the last story for now, because mommy needed to do her schoolwork. He said okay, but then said, "It’s because I talk too much, right, mommy?" And that hit me. It hurt me. Do I make him feel that way? Had someone told him that (they better fucking not had said SHIT)?! I told him, "No, baby. I just need to concentrate on this, and then you can tell me more of your wonderful stories."
I just feel like crying and holding him, because I have no idea what I’m doing and I feel like he deserves better than that… And it’s hard to find resources to help, and I just feel overwhelmed and helpless in this small-minded place with no one who really knows anything about this syndrome.
Men always say they want a woman who loves sex as much as they (claim they) do. But they don’t mean it. What many of them really mean is that they want you to be ready & available anytime *they* want sex… But YOU cannot want it or initiate it more than they do.
I think men have been conditioned to value ‘the chase’ more than the actual ‘prize’/person. To quote Shakespeare’s Juliet, if you’re ‘too easily won’ many men will think you are easy and aren’t worth being with. “Oh, she give it up to everybody/She’s a ho/She’s fast/She’s easy.” How moronic. And if promiscuity is a gauge of worth, many men shouldn’t have any worth either, but a man “being a ho” doesn’t carry the same stigma as a woman “being a ho.”
I just don’t understand the “logic” of devaluing another human being, simply because they choose to be promiscuous. The number of partners doesn’t change the content of a person’s character. Their intelligence, their personality… Everything that makes that person who they are remains in tact. Enjoying casual sex doesn’t make a person bad, or irresponsible, or less valuable. Who the hell are you to judge what someone else does with their own body, and how another person expresses *their* sexuality? As long as they practice safe sex and get tested regularly (as ALL sexually active people should), what do you care?